South Pole has only one car (a 1967 VW), and a zero accident rate.
Autos registered there will achieve this statistical rate - and,
if everyone registered in Antarctica, auto accidents would be
eliminated entirely. Although, if another car were taken there
and collided with the first, every car would be registered in
an area with a 100 percent accident rate and lawsuits and attorneys
and judges would again proliferate.
Bombeck suggests other explanations for the missing socks:
the socks, although married, fool around in the washing machine
and often divorce (no alimony is involved); or one sock goes through
a sex change, coming out a different color; or there is a Sock
Fairy (usually demoted from the tooth detail); or an extra sock
is cloned in the washer, giving you three socks of the same color;
or socks are a migratory species, activated by simply adding water.
Russell Baker adds these theories: that the washing machine
is cannibalistic and simply eats one of the socks; or that an
alien power has developed sock-napping capability; or that washing
machines are stealing individual socks
under the illusion they are single-footed creatures, unhappy with their monotonous lives and secretly planning a break for freedom (decently dressed); or that the washing machines had confused themselves with the United States Government and were levying taxes for services (by taking socks), as a Government should. So the mystery remains - although, thanks to the Reincarnation Theory, we are now certain that the missing socks return after a period of years in another form, such as a sweater.
- The Journal for Irreproducible Results (March 1976)