December 1996 - The Court Reporters Have Done It Again!

Lynn Brooks of Dallas, who is (among other things) the book review editor of the Journal of Court Reporters, writes:

Court: To the charge of driving while intoxicated, how do you plead?
A. Drunk.
***

Q, And when was that?
A. I guess it was sometime before noon or after noon.
***

Q. Do you understand my question?
A. I think so, but that may be my fault.
***

Q. Can you describe what it was like to be at Metropolitan State Hospital?
A. Scary.
Q. Why do you say that?
A. Because there was all sorts of very deranged, crazy people. And then there were the patients, who were worse.
- posted by texasbar @ 11/19/2009

 
October 1993 - Number One Easy Street


From Hollis Horton of Beaumont (Orgain, Bell, etc.), this excerpt from the plaintiff's deposition in a workers' compensation case - which was settled, "sometime after the deposition, for an amount which reportedly allowed the plaintiff to maintain his standard of living."

Q. What's your address [in Lumberton]?

A. My mailing address?

Q. Well, tell me where your residence address is. If it has a house number, tell me that.

A. Well, we just named our street last summer; went before city council and named it "Easy Street." It didn't have a name on it. I've never been on easy street ... I'm the only person that lives there - I'm going to put me a number out there. Number One Easy Street, as a matter of fact ... I saw Easy Street down here one day in Beaumont. I said I ain't never been on easy street, but I am now.

Q. You got to pick the name, yourself?

A. Drew up a petition. Everybody that lived on it signed it, which was only me. I went before the city council. But you do have to drive easy on it because it's rough.
- posted by texasbar @ 11/18/2009

 
September 1993 - More From the Buchmeyer Trials

From an environmental criminal trial (the charges were illegal dumping of hazardous wastes):

Q. Isn't it a fact that ABC Corporation converted to non-lead glaze in 1990 - two years before your company?
A. That is not a fact - and it's not true, either.
***

Q. Now, who was the next supervisor you had at the [defendant company]?
A. Jerry ... Jerry ... I know it was Jerry something or other ... Jerry ... maybe Jerry Buchmeyer or something like that.
***

From a marijuana/cocaine trial:

Q. Now, you testified that you never saw the defendant selling drugs or doing a drug deal?
A. That's right.
Q. Well, just how good is your eyesight?
A. I'm legally blind.
- posted by texasbar @ 11/17/2009

 
November 2000 - Did They Really Say That?

From Bruce D. Bain of Tyler (Bain, Files, Jarrett & Bain), this "rather unique definition" of the term "tangible things" in Interrogatories served on Bruce's female client in a "divorce and custody battle."

For the purposed of these interrogatories, the phrase "tangible thing" means any material inanimate object or living organism other than human and also includes any human being or part thereof displaying relevant information communicable in any manner other than by the testimony of that human being.
- posted by texasbar @ 11/16/2009

 
January 1996 - East Texas Slang

From Raymond W. Cozby, III of Tyler (Cowles & Thompson), this closing argument made by his brother, Andrew J. Cozby, the prosecutor in a criminal trial in Houston:

Mr. Cozby: Members of the jury, I appreciate your patience during this trial. I'm going to be talking quick because my time is limited. If you can follow this East Texas slang I appreciate it because I'm going to be going over some important points.

Number One: What we call in East Texas — if you've ever seen a dog chasing a rabbit, sometimes they will get off on some rabbit's trail. That's a false trail that leads off in a circle. And a dog will get off on a false trail from where the rabbit really is.

Defense Attorney: Your Honor, I object to being called a dog.

Mr. Cozby: Your Honor, I except to that, I was calling him a rabbit.
- posted by texasbar @ 11/13/2009